6 Things to Know about Addiction
Whether people believe they can or can’t control it, experts agree that addiction is a disease: Specifically, “a complex disease of the brain and body that involves compulsive use of one or more substances, despite serious health and social consequences.”
While we all probably know what that means technically, there are many things about addiction we’re not always aware of. Here are six things to keep in mind if you’re struggling with addiction, or you know someone who is.
It can happen to anyone. Even for people who have, by all accounts, idyllic childhoods, or for people who are always quick to say they are doing “fine,” addiction can still happen, based on a variety of reasons. The disease does not discriminate. To struggle with addiction, people don’t have to be homeless, or down on their luck. They can be in your family, at your work, or part of your life. They may even be among the rich and famous in Hollywood — look at the recent reports of Ben Affleck and Demi Lovato.
There is still a stigma. Despite its prevalence, it can still be challenging for some people to wrap their heads around other’s addiction issues without feeling fear, confusion, or unwarranted responsibility or guilt, thinking that they played a role in the addiction. Despite this, society is learning to have some degree of empathy and compassion surrounding addiction, and thus it’s getting more attention and awareness.
No one is to blame. Just like people cannot take responsibility for a loved one’s addition, the person addicted must also understand that it is not their loved one’s fault. Although fFamily, “false” friends, and others may have contributed to the person’s suffering, but the person themselves must take ownership of changing. They must be the ones to work through shame rather than play the “victim,” which many people do because they think it absolves them from having to change.
It may stem from other factors. Addiction occurs for different reasons, and there’s not a one-size-fits-all formula for why it happens, or how to handle it. For many, shame is a common thread. In today’s society, many people suffer from feelings of not being “good enough.” For many, including me, addiction stems from an intimacy disorder. Check out my blog, “How it started.”
It takes time. Recognizing there’s a problem, seeking treatment, and getting down to the root issues is not something that happens overnight. Relapse is common and many times recurring, and it’s usually part of the process. Setting expectations that there should be no expectations is often the wisest approach.
You can help. Finally, while you’re not to blame, there are things you can do to help someone struggling with addiction. Make sure to stay non-judgmental. Listen. And focus on being compassionate and empathetic. Your job is not to “fix” them or cure their disease. It’s simply to be there, and sometimes that may require detaching with love.
Addiction is life-altering and life-threatening, but there is support out there.
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