5 Ways to Help Someone in Recovery
If you know someone struggling with addiction or in a stage of recovery, it’s common to feel overwhelmed. You want to help, but you’re not sure what they’re going through. You’re worried that you’ll say the wrong thing. You’ll come off wrong, or be taken the wrong way. Still, you care about the person and you want to do something. If you’re unsure of how to convey your feelings, here are five ways to help.
Withhold judgement. The first and most important way to help is to withhold judgment. Experts remind us that addiction is a disease, not a “weakness or moral failing.” Addiction is defined as being powerless. Based on this, it’s not an indication of a person’s will power, personal strength, or feelings for their loved ones.
My studies at UCLA to obtain a certificate in Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counseling have reminded me of the same thing: To help a person struggling with addiction, we must be non-judgmental, and demonstrate unconditional positive regard. We must understand that this is about their addiction – not them.
Keep talking. Another thing I’m learning through my training is the importance of ongoing communication. To help, you must take strides to build a rapport. This helps you show empathy and of course your support. Do not cut a loved one off while they’re going through this process. Stay in contact and keep reaching out.
Encourage sobriety. You can also support your loved one by addressing his or her surroundings. While you shouldn’t have to drastically change your own lifestyle, you can still take steps to create a substance-free, drug-free environment, which sources say is one of the biggest predictors of a person’s long-term success in recovery. Depending on the addiction, try to remove items that may be tempting or lead to a relapse. At the same time, encourage healthy habits with your loved one such as cooking, exercising, or activities that don’t involve drugs or alcohol.
Have realistic expectations. Another way to help is to be realistic about your loved one’s progress and capabilities. Recovery is a journey, full of many starts and stops. Remember, addiction renders people powerless. You can hold your loved one accountable to some degree, but understand that you will likely have to offer help to direct them to treatment or get them the support they need. Experts advise not to preach or lecture, or react with pity or anger. They say this only keeps you “in the process” with the person addicted.
Get support. Finally, if you’re looking to show your support, it’s important to get support. Reach out to professionals, contact your church, or call a hotline. The National Institute on Drug Abuse maintains a list of resources for information and guidance. Do not feel like you’re alone. Millions of people have gone through this before you, and there are professionals out there to help.
If these steps don’t seem like much in the grand scheme of things, trust that they do. Your support, your kindness, and your just “being there” can make a difference. Even if the path seems unclear, your presence is essential. For more insights, hope and support to believe in big change, browse my blogs and listen to my latest podcast.
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